And the prize for strangest comment goes to…

Casualencounters.com/blog for this strange comment regarding my Craigslist spoof:

I’m confused and alienated by your hysterical traffic light text. Hold me

A/S/L?

-James

I had a dream, Joe

Okay, folks. It’s time to get uncharacteristically personal for this little blog in teh intarwebz. No, but seriously, this thing is fucking crazy that it’s got my head spinning.

As an atheist, I don’t believe that dreams hold any divine message from the big bearded fella up in the sky. I tend to go with Freud’s interpretation that dreams are simply the subconscious’s way of expressing the individual’s desires. But when you bring Pizza into the mix… things do not bode well. Pizza, especially Dominos pizza, gives you weird fucking dreams. I knew this when I ate a Hypnotika pizza the size of a small child last night, but I didn’t care. I’d just watched Being John Malkovich for the first time in years, but above all I felt a little clarity in my life for once; that I was in control. I had spent the afternoon at a friend’s house where we had conversed over various issues currently plaguing our lives… in short, life was good.

I went to bed around 11-ish because I was feeling shattered. (don’t worry, there is a point to all of this) I subsequently fell asleep and had two dreams, one of which being the oddest and creepiest I can remember.

The first one was pretty straight forward. It took place in Béziers (my hometown). Like most small towns in France, it has fuck all in the way of alternative culture except for a rock shop called Keskispass. They sell band hoodies and T-shirts… that sorta stuff. But long story short, I went in there and bought three hoodies, two of which I already owned (a Slipknot one and a SOAD one), a box cap (because I was thinking of how much I want one when I was at my friend’s house yesterday) and a couple of those sew-on band patches. Walking out of the shop, feeling royally cheated at having spent 30 odd euros on stuff that I already had, the dream ended. That was when I woke up at around four in the morning feeling dryer than a desert’s asshole, so I went downstairs to procure myself a glass of water. Something tells me that Dominos puts far too much salt in their food.

Anyway, I promptly fell back asleep and that’s when stuff started to go weird. I can’t pinpoint the exact start of the dream, so I’ll go and recount exactly what I remember. Which is a lot. Which is uncharacteristic for me, but you’ll see why I remember it so well in a few.

I’m not going to name exact names on here, but for those of you who know me quite well, it shouldn’t be all that hard to figure out who I’m talking about. I’ll make a compromise though and name Tata, just because she’s a bitch and holds little to no relevance in the global structure of the dream.

But anyways, I was going out with Girl X. I could feel her touch, I could feel her kissing me. It all felt so REAL. I mean, I can actually remember how it all felt and having experienced it in real life, I can safely say that the real thing and the dream were almost identical. But Girl X has a boyfriend. Yikes. I knew this and I didn’t care. Double Yikes, that’s not like me at all. Girl X also has a friend called Girl Y who wasn’t too happy that this was going on between Girl X and myself. I tried to engage her in conversation (I was unaware of her distaste) and ended up having a pretty massive argument with her. Things were said, mainly by me that I’m glad I didn’t say in a real-life situation. Yeah, they were pretty nasty. But anyways, the bell rang (this took place in school) and that signalled the start of the next lesson, which I coincidentally had with Girl X and Girl Y. ‘Damn’, I thought, ‘I really can’t be spending an hour with her glaring at me or shouting at me or whatever’ so I skipped class. I was walking through the halls towards the exit, when Tata stopped me and wonderfully reminded me that I had a test. I made up an excuse and told her I was going to fetch the registration book for the teacher. I walked to the end of the hallway and walked up the northern stairwell, up to the very top where I subsequently met two girls who I have never seen before, and we talked over my situation. The dream then ended and I woke up feeling shaken.

The dream really shook me. First of all, the vividity and realism of the dream was like nothing I have ever experienced before. I felt everything as if it was real. Also, the layout of my school (where the dream took place) was 98% accurate. For those of you who read this blog and go to my school, I’ve included a little diagram below with the approximate layout of the school, and where everything happened.

1 took place in front of school where everybody goes to smoke. The argument climaxed just infront of the entrance at the top of the stairs. 3 is my intended destination, to the German class on the second floor. I stopped about half way down the hall and turned back, I encountered Tata in the entrance just as I was about to leave and again on my way to pick up the registration book at the Vie Scolaire, hence the reason I went to the stairwell marked at 5. Just one thing about the northern stairwell was a little Dalì-esque. I went up the stairs and when I tried to climb back down I found it had turned into an MC Escher staircase. But whatever, I think anyone who knows the school will agree that it was detailed. Really, REALLY detailed.

Could it be a premonition? I don’t believe in any of that crap. But there is something very ominous about it all. I was in my ideal situation in my dream, I was in control and I was going out with a wonderful girl. But the conflict in the dream troubles me a little. Of course, it’s an expression of my desires, but I had everyone’s personality down to a T. Srsly.

Not felt this weirded out for a good long time.

Till next time,

James

WTF?

Sorry for the recent lull in posting.  Should have the net back soon.

In the mean time, let me ask:

WTFOMGBBQ???!!?

http://www.herobuilders.com/08.htm